He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
