I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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