i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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