i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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