you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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