So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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