Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.

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  (248): I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness. http://tfl.nu/dved
  Replies (3) Good night (1209) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

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  (925): when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober? http://tfl.nu/qjrt
  Replies (30) Good night (755) Bad night (1928) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.

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  (865): I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it. http://tfl.nu/q5jx
  Replies (38) Good night (749) Bad night (13660) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day

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  (802): I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day http://tfl.nu/wkei
  Replies (13) Good night (4215) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?

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  (317): about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/od5z
  Replies (9) Good night (778) Bad night (3485) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.

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  (614): No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog. http://tfl.nu/lwrd
  Replies (11) Good night (5628) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello

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  (585): Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello http://tfl.nu/squi
  Replies (17) Good night (880) Bad night (9478) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

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  (218): Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'? http://tfl.nu/wgpy
  Replies (15) Good night (1519) Bad night (4628) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

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  (850): We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out? http://tfl.nu/dwkr
  Replies (8) Good night (3207) Bad night (679)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.

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  (773): Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth. http://tfl.nu/gnm7
  Replies (3) Good night (1707) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?

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  (603): Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision? http://tfl.nu/bsbp
  Replies (7) Good night (1347) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"

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  (973): They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!" http://tfl.nu/oehu
  Replies (4) Good night (1531) Bad night (429)
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  (805): View more from California

  No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.

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  (805): No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard. http://tfl.nu/br69
  Replies (5) Good night (2079) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!

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  (804): Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body! http://tfl.nu/7w2d
  Replies (4) Good night (1018) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit

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  (706): I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit http://tfl.nu/wzhs
  Replies (4) Good night (1697) Bad night (337)

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