thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(