i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
