Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
