So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize