Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
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In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.