You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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