Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.