So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize