i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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