I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it glows. i had to have it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
