I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
