I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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