$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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