Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
