well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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