The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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