I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
