My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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