how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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