i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize