are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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