He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I deserve this hangover.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
