He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
