He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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