we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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