if you like me you must not know who I am
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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