In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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