She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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