When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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