i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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