coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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