My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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