i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
