Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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