Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
