Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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