im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?