I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?