birth control should be required to get into college
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD