Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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