This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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