google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
accomplished twins. life is a go
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
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Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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