he shaved USA in his pubs
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
