Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.