My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.