The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?