The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
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I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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