Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
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LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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