how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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