I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
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I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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