I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am spending my child support on dildos
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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